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Editor's Corner
Excerpted from the February 2007 Newsletter

Will They Like Me?

One sure way to make people like you is to make them feel good about themselves. So, why do we so often direct time and effort in our presentations trying to make them like us?

And what is it that causes them not to like us? Sometimes it's just the way we say it: attitude and tone of voice. Sometimes it's the words we use or don't use. Use words that paint pictures relevant to this audience. Have the attitude when you put your thoughts together that these are intelligent people; don't talk down to them.

Almost everyone wants to feel loved, and that's as true when you're speaking as in any other situation. Because the audience, too, wants to feel loved, it's more practical to remember, "It's not about us," and focus on how we can craft the message so they feel good about themselves. Make them feel intelligent, engaged, and repositories of good judgment.

The only way to get to that effective level is to remove yourself completely from the equation and get serious about discovering as much as you can about your audience: needs, attitudes, uses for your content, interest.

For this to work, it has to be genuine. If you're out to manipulate people, the results aren't the same. You don't make them like you long term if you lie to them, tell them only what they want to hear, bore them, or even entertain them with no purpose.

Remember: Keep the focus on the audience helping them to feel satisfied with the information and good about themselves, and they'll feel good about you.

First Person

George Reach, Financial Analyst, Crosslinkers, Resins & HP Polymers:

"I just came out of a meeting where I was an attendee, but used the premise ‘how can I help the audience?’ to clear my thinking.

"At the end of the session, the speaker opened the floor to questions. In the past, I was always reluctant to ask any questions. My nervousness would usually hold me back.

"I then thought to myself maybe my question will also help other audience members.' When I took that perspective, it really seemed to make me less nervous and I very calmly asked two specific questions – maybe a baby step, but a definite improvement.

"That quotation from Jessica Somers Driver is really helpful: ‘Shyness and egotism are off the same tree; both are interest in self overbalancing interest in others.’

"I really enjoyed your class and expect to keep on improving my presentation skills."

How Do You Organize Fast?

"It really throws me when I'm asked to speak and don't have any time to prepare. Are there tips and tricks, or is it just practice?"

Here are a couple of thoughts that address tips and tricks as well as practice:

A tip: Don't waste any time feeling scared or annoyed (at them or yourself). We tend to waste the few seconds or minutes we have rather than immediately focusing. Focus on a point you could make on this subject after thinking of why anyone in your audience (of one or hundreds) would care about this subject.

Practice: In meetings or teleconferences when you're not the speaker, or while watching TV talk shows, practice thinking what you might say if you were suddenly called upon.

As always, when we refuse to focus on us, we get a much clearer picture of what's going on and of how to respond.

Quotes to Make You a Better Speaker

“The best way to forget your own problems is to help someone else solve theirs.” —Unknown

“If there's no wind, row.” —Unknown

“We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not be the lights of every passing ship.” —Omar Bradley

“You can't base your life on other people's expectations.”

“One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.” —Jack Penn

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.” —Beverly Sills

For more great quotes, check out these websites:


Think gifts. Someone you know is going to be giving more presentations soon. Give them a practical gift that will make those presentations easier and more effective. Learn more or Order Online.

"Getting Over Yourself: A Guide to Painless Public Speaking...and More" by Barbara Rocha 208 pages, illustrated, cartoons $19.95

Audiotape or CD ROM
The "Getting Over Yourself" book on audiotape read by the author ($17.95) or CD ROM ($19.95).

Booklets by Barbara Rocha:
$9.95 each (+$1.50 Shipping and Handling)
"Pocket Guide for Presenters"
103 pages

"60 Ways to Spark Your Speaking: Just in time answers to frequently asked questions"
154 pages

"Love to Talk/Hate to Speak: Selected articles by Barbara Rocha"
121 pages

Speeches on Tape:
"From Bored Room to Board Room" $10.95
"Stand Up and Stand Out" $10.95

"Getting Over Yourself: A Guide to Painless Public Speaking" featuring Barbara Rocha in excerpts from her book, seminar classes and interactive coaching. VHS $99.95

Learn more
Order Online
Call (888) 800-2001
E-mail: BouldinHil@aol.com
Write: Bouldin Hill Press at 17-555 Bubbling Wells Rd., Desert Hot Springs, CA 92241


**How to Overcome the Stress of Public Speaking
Pasadena: 3-day workshop October 25, 26, 27, 2010.

We have two public seminars each year: May and October/November. If you have several people who could use this training, contact us regarding an in-house seminar.

As a refresher, workshop graduates (from any of our 3-day workshops) may attend for half price at any time. People tell us they get as much or more out of the workshop the second time around.

Visit our seminars section for details or call (888) 800-2001

For more information, contact:

Barbara Rocha and Associates

PO Box 60521, Pasadena, California 91116

(626) 792-8075

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