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Editor's Corner
Excerpted from the April 2009 Newsletter

Why don’t you believe me?

The easiest way to get your audience to believe (and respond) to you is to keep your message simple and speak without qualms.

The first is accomplished by knowing clearly what result you want and what your message is. The second: by getting yourself out of the way.

So, what outcome do you want? Do you want agreement? Another appointment? A sale? Trust? Credibility?

And, how clear are you on your message? Can you state it in a few words? (Do this before you actually start organizing and you’ll find it easier to structure your thoughts.)

“The quarter went well and here’s how we’re going to keep the momentum.” “We’re starting a new system and here’s how it works.” “We’ve compared these two products, here’s what we found out and what we recommend.”

The second part, “speak without qualms,” is your remembering to stay out of the way. Any energy you waste on wondering what they think of you or how you’re doing undermines your credibility. When you think about yourself, you will be nervous and, for all the wrong reasons, they’ll be thinking about you, too.

Stay focused on the desired outcome — trust and results — and on the point of your message rather than yourself.

First Person

Leslie E. Frank, DPT, Bodyscape Integrative Physical Therapy:

“My dad passed away recently and while we were up north at a hotel I put together a slide show for his memorial service. I was able to get up and talk positively about his life as a celebration with confidence and no nervousness at the service. I was surprised how excited I was to talk about my dad once I got up there. I thought I'd break down, but your training got me through it with confidence.

“I really felt good about how I spoke at the memorial, with thanks to you.”

It’s good to speak well in business, but that pales in comparison with feeling good about sharing the love of someone’s life with others. I’m glad, Leslie, you were able to celebrate your dad’s life as you wanted to.

Dealing with Emotions

“Dear Barb: How do you avoid getting emotional when you speak? There are a couple of subjects that make me lose my focus.”

Emotion isn’t always bad; it shows you’re human. But losing control and not being able to continue is a problem. And moving your audience into negative territory is also something you want to avoid.

Tears, anger, fear, joy, indignation, can all work for you or against you. Aimed at principles and at the greater good they may work. Aimed at people, they’ll usually get you in trouble.

Your question indicates the heart of the matter: Are you out of control?

If you’re caught off guard by a personal experience of emotion during a presentation yank that mental choke chain. You’re giving yourself an emotional slap like the proverbial slap to stop hysteria. Think of anything else in order to stop the train wreck.

If it’s a subject you often have to talk about, take note of the words you’re using. Certain words often trigger the same reaction and changing to a synonym or another way of describing the issue will help defuse the emotional connection.

Quotes to Make You a Better Speaker

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own.” —Henry Ford

“Two monologues do not make a dialogue.” —Jeff Daly

“Learning is like rowing upstream: not to advance is to drop back.” —Chinese proverb

“When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.” —Abraham Joshua Heschel

“A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are.” —Ara Parashegian

For more great quotes, check out these websites:


Think gifts. Someone you know is going to be giving more presentations soon. Give them a practical gift that will make those presentations easier and more effective. Learn more or Order Online.

"Getting Over Yourself: A Guide to Painless Public Speaking...and More" by Barbara Rocha 208 pages, illustrated, cartoons $19.95

Audiotape or CD ROM
The "Getting Over Yourself" book on audiotape read by the author ($17.95) or CD ROM ($19.95).

Booklets by Barbara Rocha:
$9.95 each (+$1.50 Shipping and Handling)
"Pocket Guide for Presenters"
103 pages

"60 Ways to Spark Your Speaking: Just in time answers to frequently asked questions"
154 pages

"Love to Talk/Hate to Speak: Selected articles by Barbara Rocha"
121 pages

Speeches on Tape:
"From Bored Room to Board Room" $10.95
"Stand Up and Stand Out" $10.95

"Getting Over Yourself: A Guide to Painless Public Speaking" featuring Barbara Rocha in excerpts from her book, seminar classes and interactive coaching. VHS $99.95

Learn more
Order Online
Call (888) 800-2001
E-mail: BouldinHil@aol.com
Write: Bouldin Hill Press at 17-555 Bubbling Wells Rd., Desert Hot Springs, CA 92241


**How to Overcome the Stress of Public Speaking
Pasadena: 3-day workshop October 25, 26, 27, 2010.

We have two public seminars each year: May and October/November. If you have several people who could use this training, contact us regarding an in-house seminar.

As a refresher, workshop graduates (from any of our 3-day workshops) may attend for half price at any time. People tell us they get as much or more out of the workshop the second time around.

Visit our seminars section for details or call (888) 800-2001

For more information, contact:

Barbara Rocha and Associates

PO Box 60521, Pasadena, California 91116

(626) 792-8075

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